I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
