I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
