It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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