just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
