I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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