you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
