Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
