i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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