i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
