sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
