i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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