508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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