Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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