the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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