i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
