You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
