I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
