is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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