So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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