Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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