You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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