Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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