in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
