God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
