her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
