a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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