Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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