I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
