when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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