i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
