There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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