Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
