You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
