When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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