Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
