cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
