I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
