Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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