just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
