I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
