no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
