i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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