you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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