Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
