My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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