That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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