Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize