Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
