You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
do nipples grow back?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize