I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
