when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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