I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
