Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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