White coat. Heels.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
