PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
