why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
