Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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