Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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