dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize