i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize