So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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