guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
