I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
