called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize