NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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