I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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