Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Where is the hickey?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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