what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
