I'm going to jail i love you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
