did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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