Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
