This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
