Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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