Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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