i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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