I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize