Porn is love you can see.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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