whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How's work?
Spinning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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