What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
