I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think I just sharted jello shots
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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