There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
